Articles about us: Obsession with Beauty - part 2
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, better say nothing at all
The borderline between a usual desire to be beautiful and an unhealthy obsession can be rather thin. You think you’ll be happier having new breasts. But then you get a good idea to get rid of the small folds on your hips and also of the bags below eyes. It’s the same as other things in life – we set our hearts on certain dreams: when I’m done studying, I’ll meet my Prince Charming; when my house is built, when the kids are older and I go back to work, when it’s spring, summer...
Is it possible to achieve happiness, considering the body does age? Kristýna admits that it is quite easy to get addicted to plastic surgery. „I don’t want to just watch myself age. Now I’m content but I’m already considering whether I should get my neck or arms done. It’s depressing when I look at young girls, thinking I used to be that beautiful. The only justice is that in a few years, they will also look like me today. We are all getting older, „ she’s comforting herself.
In general, the happier we are on the inside, the easier it is to accept our looks. That is not the case of Tereza (26) who spends way too much time in front of a mirror. Every time she walks by, she checks it out, she would never miss out on her own reflection in a glass. She usually runs to work last minute, because she can’t make herself leave the house on time. When she’s stressed, she plucks her eyebrow so that not one little hair is sticking out; when she’s depressed, she stands in front of the mirror, pinching her belly, assuring herself that being so fat, she can’t go out. Mostly she ends up crying, thinking of liposuction, in worse scenario about suicide. And yet, Tereza is a very attractive woman who is just pedantically making sure she looks perfect.
Psychologists call this obsession dysmorphic disorder (BDD). A woman is obsessed with her looks but at the same time, she hates herself because she wants to look different -- younger, slimmer, she wants a firmer bosom or bigger lips. Even when she has gotten all this, she cannot be satisfied. Just as Tereza who is commited to fight everything that bothers her. „I had my teeth whitened, my hair extended and I wear colour contact lenses. Recently, I have had my lips enlarged and got the mimic wrinkles ‚dealt with‘ using botox.“ This year, she is planning a breast surgery. „Although they are quite big, I want them to be perfect“, she reasons.
This never ending round of cosmetic procedures is not the only consequence of BDD. It can also bring along depression, eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, fitness or shopping obsessions. And just as you can’t explain to an anorexic woman that she is too skinny, it is hard to convince a woman addicted to plastic surgery that before she was also beautiful and that she doesn’t need any operation. It is rather a therapist’s job.
Imperfect or edgy?
The trap of any obsession is that once you learn to find faults, you always find one. Even where nobody else would find it. However, things might come to breaking point where you stop and think. The money runs out, the operation does not turn out well, the body loses patience and the immunity system revolts. Or you start doubting your actions. Besides her breasts, Tereza wanted to get her cheek bones fixed. She is slowly waking up: „I’ve felt awkward since the last operation. Although it was done perfectly and the change is so small, suddenly I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I start doubting how I’d feel after the next operation. Plus, that would be quite an essential change. Suddenly I’m not sure what’s better: not to be perfect or not to feel like yourself?“
It is important to distinguish the two kinds of aesthetic procedures. There are those giving you something beautiful you once had that changes with aging (wrinkles or sagging breasts). The other procedure change something you’ve had since you were born (big nose, thin lips, small breasts). With the latter, everybody should really think twice about why they want such change and whether it would really help. Of course it’s good to undergo a procedure that changes your self-evaluation and soothes your hang-ups; but not an operation that wipes out your personality.
